It’s a Thursday morning and I am laying here with glee as I write the first post of my new blog, FREE.

Freedom is my #1 value in life.

Here’s how I got here…

The Freedom of Play

Since I was a kid, “playing outside” was my favorite expression of freedom.

I felt glee when kids in my neighborhood knocked on my front door asking if I could “come out and play.”

If my parents or siblings said no, usually because I was studying or playing the clarinet, they followed with, “So when can she come outside?”

An hour or two later, when I emerged on the basketball court ready to shoot free throws, everyone yelled, “Erikan’s here!!!” It was the best feeling ever. I loved feeling wanted by my friends. It was as if I was a valued playmate. There was honor there and I took pride in it.

Moments like these solidified my love of playful friendships today. Play is my love language. Through play, I feel seen.

The Freedom of Dance

I also felt free every summer when the hottest songs dropped on MTV and BET. I learned the choreography in Mya, Aaliyah, or Christina Aguilera’s music videos. Remember MTV’s “Making the Video” and BET’s “Access Granted”? They introduced me to beloved choreographers like Fatima and directors like Melina. Furthermore, the fashion and futurism of “Cita’s World” or comedy and connection of “Hits From The Streets” made me giddy each afternoon.

•••

Cue Mya’s “Free”:

“…oh come on and be free with me.

Free... single, sexy and sweet
Makin' my own money
Lookin' for the right party
And if you're free... spit your best game at me
If you like what you see
Maybe I'll let you share my fantasy.”

The Freedom of Culture

On weekends, my heart raced when Tommy the Clown drove down my street, speakers blaring. He and his TSquad dancers shut down my block for birthday parties. Energetic dance battles were my chance to witness kids and adults crumping, c* walking, and booty popping. I lived for these moments! Our dancing was ecstatic and care free. Our bodies told captivating stories through movement.

Remember the movie Rize? Imagine that happening on your street every year as a kid...

Tommie the Clown’s block parties topped other neighborhood funtivities like listening in the distance for the ice cream man’s song and chasing him down to buy Lucas Powder Candy, The “Tweety” Bird Ice Cream, and Bomp Pop popsicles…

Best of all, I loved watching my parents demonstrate how crumping resembled ancient dances back home in Nigeria. I revered how, despite being separated many centuries of ago, African and Black American people are still very connected. It seeded the idea that culture is encoded in our DNA…. From music to movement, our spirits never left each other. Mind blown.

Today, I play and dance to express myself and free my body.

PSA

Fast forward to today, it saddens me that adults get hardened over time.

Responsibilities, societal pressures, recessions, codeswitching, up speak, corporate climbing, grief, heartache, workaholism, etc…make us lose our luster.

Cramming ourselves into rigid expectations, usually set by grouchy & self-loathing generations before us, makes us souless.

I want to see more adults with twinkles in their eyes… starting with myself.

Intention

This blog is my playground to be free.

When I am in my 100s, I want to look back at my life with awe and pride. I want to fawn at my full expression, sincerity, and artistry.

As I document my journey, i am not interested in perfection, grammatical correctness, or building an audience. Punctuation and words will be used for artistic purposes only.

I am doing this to embrace my nature as an artful, heartful, and playful person. I am thrilled to strip down and meet myself.

This blog is for me, by me.

Inspiration

Deniece Williams - Free

“Whispering in his ear
My magic potion for love
Telling him I'm sincere
And that there's nothing too good for us

And I just got to be me, free, free”

Note to self

good job erikan for taking the steps to be free. May you surrender to this process and allow yourself to release every mask or weight you’ve ever carried.

I love you.